Everyone’s a scrub in the eyes of Toph
The truth behind narwhals.
Unicorns were so tired of hiding they invented submarines that looked like horned whales. Brilliant.
do you ever sit in ur friends room and just wonder how many times theyve masturbated where ur sitting
no but now i will and it’s honestly your fault
Me on grindr
*hears intro to Sugar We’re Going Down* … *runs into room* AM I MORE THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR YET *kicks wall* I’VE BEEN DYING TO TELL YOU ANYTHING *punches chair* YOU WANNA HEAR *throws table* COS THAT’S JUST WHO I AM THIS WEEK
stop playing the victim. that’s not even a real instrument
when you get a bad haircut and you see people for the first time
Computer. Install Yosemite faster please. Gotta paper and script to write and gotta do my study guide. Record a song. Add music to my phone. And clear space on my phone. So get to stepping.
imagine a vampire going “fuck it” and just taking some antihistamines before going to town on a plate of garlic bread
later on it’s wheeled into the ER with like a puffed up face and it just goes “I have been on this earth 10 thousand years but i have not lived until this day”